Funny Things I Have Discovered As A Mom

  1. My son will not poop in a pee pee diaper, instead he waits until a dry one is put on and then poops instantaneously.
  2. Modesty went out the window after giving birth. It’s funny how “breasts” and “uterus” come up in casual conversations, even with men present.
  3. The inventor of electrical outlet safety plugs is a genius (see photo, words are not necessary).               

    Outlet Safety Caps Are Vital!
    This is WHY you need outlet plugs!
  4. What is with nicknames? My son must have 15 different names and he responds to each of them!
  5. My son has NEVER had a tantrum, that is until his one year appointment with his pediatrician present. Made me look like such a failure as a mom because I had no idea how to respond!
  6. My golden retriever used to be a pampered pup, now she is “just a dog”.
  7. Walkers are toddler sized bumper cars. I’m surprised my son never got whiplash! Needless to say, his walker was sold at a yard sale 2 weeks after we purchased it. I am still repairing my walls and furniture!
  8. Moms always talk about poop stories (I’m starting to realize why kids get embarrassed of their parents).
  9. I have memorized at least 20 books in my son’s library, but I can never remember where I put my purse.
  10. I used to become annoyed with parents who had screaming children in public, now I sympathize with them!
  11. I am guilty of giving my son’s diaper the “sniff test” to see if he has pooped. Lately (thanks to solid foods), a sniff test is no longer necessary.

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