- My son will not poop in a pee pee diaper, instead he waits until a dry one is put on and then poops instantaneously.
- Modesty went out the window after giving birth. It’s funny how “breasts” and “uterus” come up in casual conversations, even with men present.
- The inventor of electrical outlet safety plugs is a genius (see photo, words are not necessary).
This is WHY you need outlet plugs! - What is with nicknames? My son must have 15 different names and he responds to each of them!
- My son has NEVER had a tantrum, that is until his one year appointment with his pediatrician present. Made me look like such a failure as a mom because I had no idea how to respond!
- My golden retriever used to be a pampered pup, now she is “just a dog”.
- Walkers are toddler sized bumper cars. I’m surprised my son never got whiplash! Needless to say, his walker was sold at a yard sale 2 weeks after we purchased it. I am still repairing my walls and furniture!
- Moms always talk about poop stories (I’m starting to realize why kids get embarrassed of their parents).
- I have memorized at least 20 books in my son’s library, but I can never remember where I put my purse.
- I used to become annoyed with parents who had screaming children in public, now I sympathize with them!
- I am guilty of giving my son’s diaper the “sniff test” to see if he has pooped. Lately (thanks to solid foods), a sniff test is no longer necessary.