I do not like spam in a can -or- on my blog pages. Lately, I have been receiving a lot of spam comments on my Facebook fan page and twitter account because people automatically assume my readers hang around trying to find unemployment help. If these spammers would take a brief moment to actually read my content, they may understand that is not what The Unemployed Mom is about.

I have received emails from people asking me to promote their job searching tools and/or facebook pages. Not once did they even acknowledge my blog or indicate they would help me in return by sending people to my link, it was all about them. Whatever! One lady actually said “before spamming your page, I wanted to let you know so you could promote my link for me instead”. Seriously? Well, I didn’t promote her page and denied the request yet she still spammed my facebook page. Oh, and there was one guy who basically told me I was being overprotective of my blog community which was not uncommon but a huge mistake. Buddy…I do not think my readers care about what you have to offer! Perhaps I should have given him the subject of breast feeding or reviewing the latest feminine hygiene products, then he would have backed off politely.

At least my blog has a spam filter that works VERY well!

I was caffeine free for about 20 months (during my entire pregnancy and until I stopped breast feeding my son). It was difficult to give up caffeine, but I knew it would be best for my baby especially considering how much of an addict I was. I drank decaf every once in awhile, but it seemed like such a waste. I missed my jolt of energy and trust me, when you’re big and pregnant or dealing with an infant all day and night, caffeine is pretty much a necessity!

For approximately 600 days, I was caffeine free and actually considered staying that way. Then, I realized I was just being crazy with that type of non-sense thinking! I have to tell you, the feeling I got from my first cup of caffeinated coffee was complete euphoria. It didn’t take my body long to become dependent again! I guess this is what it is like to be a junkie?

There was never a question in my mind about breast feeding my baby and my goal was to try for at least 6 months.  My husband and I even went to a Breast Feeding 101 class so we would know what to anticipate.  Despite the efforts, nothing  prepared me for the feeding machine I became.  My son had quite the appetite and for the first 3 months, I felt like all I did was feed him. We really didn’t get out and about much during that time because I wasn’t comfortable feeding him in public.  If we went out for the day, I would make my husband park in a secluded area of a parking lot and I would cover up with a nursing wrap even though I knew there was no chance of someone seeing us.

Twelve weeks after my son was born, my maternity leave was over and I returned to work. While he was at daycare, I was able to get into a consistent pumping routine.  I only fed him from the breast in the mornings, evenings and at bed time.  This worked out really well for us and my supply was plenty.  My layoff occurred when my son was almost 5 months old and then we were back to the breast exclusively.  I have to tell you, my son was in heaven.  I was also thrilled that I didn’t have to pump and store the milk either.  There were no bottles or breast pump equipment to steam clean. I was experiencing the convenience of breast feeding, not having to pack a bottle if we went somewhere.  The tap was readily available and he had spaced out his eating schedule so I wasn’t feeding him constantly.  It was then I made the decision I would breast feed him as long as I could.

The day my son turned 9 months old, he went on a nursing strike.  I couldn’t figure it out, the previous day everything was fine then all of the sudden he would scream bloody murder when I put him in the feeding position.  I attempted to give him a bottle of expressed milk and he fussed about that as well.  His 9 month appointment was the following day and his pediatrician ruled out an ear infection and determined his bottom teeth were the reason.  The pediatrician instructed me to somehow feed him milk or formula, but my son had no idea how to use a sippy cup and he refused a bottle.  It was time to get creative, so I started feeding him milk from a medicine dropper (the syringe that came with his Baby Motrin).  This worked; however, it was very time consuming and messy.  The sippy cup training was in full gear, but it took a good month before he really understood that the cup wasn’t a toy.

I continued to offer the breast to him over the next couple of weeks and he continued to scream.  A few times, he would act like he wanted to nurse but he was conflicted about what to do.  He’d open his mouth and try to latch on, then he’d cry.  A few nights he actually fell asleep with my breast in his mouth, but refused to nurse.  I finally said enough is enough when he decided that I would make a good teething toy.  OUCH!  That was it!

So, I continued to pump but my supply was diminishing rapidly.  I was supplementing with formula and he didn’t seem to mind at all.  Finally, when he was 10 1/2 months old, I threw in the towel.

I will admit, it was emotionally difficult to know that my son weaned himself.  It was at that very moment I realized my baby wasn’t a baby anymore. The bonding experience we shared for 9 months was unbelievable and I will forever cherish it.

Did your baby go on a nursing strike? If so, did you have success at beating the strike? Any advice for moms out there who are facing a similar challenge?

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Not many people warn a first time pregnant mom about the realities or miseries of pregnancy, instead only warm and fuzzy stories are shared.  I was completely naive about pregnancy and what my body was about to endure, so I wanted to make a top 10 list of the things I learned and/or experienced.

1.  It is very difficult to only gain the recommended 25 – 30 lbs.  I put on a whopping 57 lbs with my little guy and I walked several miles per day! Oddly enough, eating was the only thing that made me feel better during the first trimester.  I even woke up starving in the middle of the night and would have to eat.

2.  Morning sickness needs a new name.  I felt queasy all day long during the first trimester and threw up daily from week 7 to 14. Smells were the absolute worst for me (fabric softeners, colognes, perfumes, lotions, refrigerators, food cooking, and the grocery meat counter were just a few smells that triggered my gag reflex).  I learned that eating small frequent meals seemed to help ease my queasiness.  

3.  It’s not a pregnancy glow, it’s greasy skin! The only reason people said I was glowing was because of all the fattening, greasy food that was coming out of my pores.  In addition to the grease, I was continuously sweating because I was overheated.

4.  I think I am an elephant!  It’s amazing how much water my body retained!  I actually referred to my ankles as “cankles” since I couldn’t tell where my calves ended and ankles began. One friend actually referred to my feet as livestock. Some friend, huh?  The only thing that helped with my fluid retention was swimming (I actually felt human in a pool)!

5.  There is no such thing as sleep.  During the third trimester, I had the worst case of pregnancy insomnia. Besides, I was so enormous that it was impossible to get comfortable.  I found my recliner was the best choice for sleeping since it was easy to get out of for my frequent bathroom trips.  I do believe this was nature’s way of preparing me for being up with my newborn, but I needed my sleep…I was creating life which was no easy task!

6.  Just because it’s your first baby, doesn’t mean you’ll be in labor forever!  I wanted to make sure what I was experiencing was true labor, so I walked 3 miles while timing my contractions.  I finally left for the hospital when my contractions were 2 minutes apart and to my surprise, I was 6 1/2 cm dilated upon arrival.  By the time I was moved to a room (within an hour) and ready to get my epidural, I was almost 8 cm! 

7.  Practice breathing techniques so you can somewhat relax during labor.  As mentioned previously, my labor progressed so quickly that even my Dr. was baffled.  I took the easy way out with a one-day Lamaze class that was not hands-on (I didn’t want to spend multiple days sitting in a classroom and felt silly role playing with pillows).  I was given a CD to practice breathing and never used it.  I regret this because I found myself almost hyperventilating with my continuous contractions.  It took the anesthesiologist three attempts to get the epidural in my back because I could not sit still.

8.  Don’t assume you won’t have a cesarean section.  I never dreamed I’d end up with an emergency c-section so I didn’t pay attention to that chapter in my birthing class.  I wish I did because I would have had a better idea about what to expect with the procedure as well as recovery.

9.  Don’t expect to leave the hospital at your pre-pregnancy size after giving birth.  I still looked about 6 or 7 months pregnant when I left the hospital with my bundle of joy, so I was glad I packed maternity clothing to wear home.  Reality is, my body changed shapes during pregnancy and thanks to my c-section, I’ll probably never be my pre-pregnancy size again. My son is almost a year old and I am still carrying an extra 10 lbs (but could stand to lose more than that)!

10.  Breast feeding is not easy!  I understand why some women choose not to breast feed, it really takes a lot of time and energy. For the first 3 months, I felt like all I did was feed my son 24/7!  He was a frequent eater (every 90 minutes to 3 hours) and it was exhausting and painful at times.  I stuck with it for 10 1/2 months until he went on a nursing strike.  The bonding experience was truly amazing and I’m glad breast feeding is the route we took.

The excitement about becoming a mom and feeling the baby move were the highlights of my pregnancy. The majority of my pregnancy was completely miserable, but the end-result was so worthwhile! There is nothing like gazing into your baby’s eyes for the first time!  My son is such a blessing and I thank God for him every single day.