I found this post in my draft folders, it was written on October 14, 2011. I lost my golden girl almost 1 year later on October 16, 2012 (she was 13). I did not edit this one bit, just left it exactly the way it was written…with the 2 photos I originally selected to use (Bailey as a pup in a bandanna and Bailey as a senior in a bandanna).
As I tossed and turned last night worrying what the vet can do for my dog (if anything), I kept having flashbacks of the day when my golden girl entered my life. It’s funny, even though it was 12 years ago, I remember the excitement, the anticipation and the instant love that I felt the moment I laid eyes on her.
We entered the pet store (lesson learned, she did come from a puppy mill and I should have known better) and my eyes quickly focused on a pin that was filled with various large breed pups. Three golden retriever pups had ribbons around their necks and were shaking their bottoms non-stop trying to get some attention. But then, I spotted her. In a pin with smaller dogs was my Bailey, without a ribbon around her neck. I wondered if her sisters were mean to her and they had to separate them (of course I didn’t think it was the opposite, there was no way Bailey was the instigator…boy was I naive)! I have a tendency to always root for the underdog and well, since Bailey’s ribbon was gone and she was with small dogs, I felt as though she may have been the runt or something. The moment I laid eyes on her, my heart did pitter-patters. SHE was the one, there was no doubt in my mind!
I cannot tell you how much Bailey has changed my life! She has taught me what unconditional love is! She has been a loyal friend and family member for 12 wonderful years, my first baby! One way or the other, we are going to find relief for the pain she has been dealing with. She doesn’t deserve to hurt this badly. Yesterday was a bad day, she could barely stand up or walk. Thankfully, that is not all the time, this morning she took off running after a stray cat in our backyard and didn’t seem to hurt one bit. But on her bad days, it is just too excruciating to watch.
I didn’t write this to make you feel sad, but for selfish reasons. As I type this, I have been reminded of so many wonderful memories with my baby girl. All I ask is that you say a prayer for my Bailey, that there is hope.
Sigh. I loved that dog so much, not a day goes by that I am not reminded of how special Bailey was. I see dogs walking by my home and my heart aches a little. I knew the day would come when I’d have to say goodbye, but never did I dream it would hurt so badly. Obviously, she is no longer in pain which is great, but I cannot say the same for myself.
I always said, I could never own another animal once Bailey was gone. Truth be told, my heart has an empty spot in it. She was my special friend, so loyal and loving. I stalk the SPCA site daily and even visited once to meet a particular dog (when I arrived, he was already rescued so I didn’t get to meet him). My mind says no, but my heart doesn’t feel the same way.
Thankfully, my neighbor has a cat who visits regularly. He has helped fill the void, he jumps on my lap and begs for love. He makes my heart smile! Bailey would have loved him (she was a huge cat fan)!
Anyone who says a dog is just a dog…well, they are so wrong! I found this quote and it is SO true!
“Dogs are not your whole life but they make your life whole.” Author: Roger Cara