Country Kid

ElmersGlueI grew up in the country and a few things my parents said or did stuck with me (and needless to say, mortified me). Here are a few things you should never say or do to your kids.

  • “Daddy shot the Easter Bunny so he won’t be filling your basket this year.”
  • “Santa won’t make it to our house this Christmas since we are eating Rudolph for dinner.”
  • “How does Smokey taste?” This particular comment was awful considering Smokey was a pig that I used to visit!
  • “I saw the Easter bunny (or Rudolph, depending on the upcoming holiday) dead on the side of the road, someone hit him with a car.”
  • Our neighbor had cows in a field near our home and I loved going to visit them. I would squirt water out of my Fisher Price bowling pins into one cows mouth (I even nicknamed him George). One day, George was no where to be found. My parents told me he was taken to the glue factory and they made Elmer’s Glue out of him. I have no clue where that came from, but I was convinced Elmer’s glue was made out of cows!
  • I have a brother who is 4 years older than me. One day, we were exploring in the woods near our house. We found a nest of eggs lying on the ground and my brother told me they were “rabbit eggs”. Well, on my 3rd grade mammals test, there was one particular question that sticks in my mind, “What is an egg laying mammal”. I knew the answer was Platypus; however, I thought my teacher would be so proud of me for knowing that rabbits also lay eggs. The next day, my teacher embarrassed me in front of the entire class by saying the Cadbury Bunny was fiction and not to believe everything I saw on television. Good grief! I was so mad at my brother over that one.
  • I grew up with pet rabbits and would NOT even consider eating one. Well, one day my mom tricked me and said we were having baked squirrel for dinner. I commented on how it tasted weird and she started laughing and told me it was a wild rabbit my dad shot during hunting season. I almost threw up. How morbid is that?

Please tell me I’m not alone and that you also heard crazy stuff like this growing up? I cannot believe I am not a vegetarian!

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2 Thoughts to “Country Kid”

  1. sarahscy

    Jess, one great big LOL! I agree with you that these statements are damaging, but they’re funny! That would never happen in Illinois…everyone is so uptight here….parents who don’t let their kids participate in Halloween, believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. So I don’t know what’s worse….not getting to believe in Santa, or thinking he got shot in deer season! ha ha! Thanks for the laugh!

  2. Marie Byrd

    0o0oh my dear, dear child….. LMAO, I am still snorting!!! So I am sitting here thinking about the damage we must be causing to my 3. Izzie thinks Deer are to be hanging upside down (draining) because she wants to help Autumn and Daddy when they bring home a deer. Autumn shot her own pig that she raised (FYI I couldnt eat Wilbur but she did) even after she used to walk the darn thing on a leash!! I then remember why I was a vegetarian for so many many years! Disgusting. I also laugh because the rabbit thing…..I could not imagine eating rabbit……we are country but not that dang country!!!! and this line is priceless and I shall use it “Daddy shot the Easter Bunny so he won’t be filling your basket this year.” !!!!!! Im so dying right now! This is by far MY FAVORITE BLOG~

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