I am jealous of birth stories when a mom gets to see and hold her baby immediately after delivery. I remember when I was pregnant, I used to imagine what that moment would be like. I would close my eyes and try to picture my newborn son being placed on my chest as the tears of joy ran down my face. Of course, that is not how my birthing experience was at all.
My son’s birth was a blur, it happened so quickly that I still shake my head thinking about it. I won’t go into too many details, but I arrived at the hospital at 11 pm and my son was born less than 3 hours later. In a nutshell, my labor progressed quickly which shocked everyone. I literally was checked into a room when I was 6 cm, received my epidural, then at 9 1/2 cm, my blood pressure dropped drastically. Baby’s heart rate was impacted, so the decision was made for an emergency c-section.
Before I knew it, I was in the operating room and there were like a million people around me. It was scary and not the experience I had hoped for. I could feel the doctor cutting me and I remember crying out. The doctor asked what I felt and I described it as a sharpness and poking. A strong cocktail was quickly administered into my veins and my husband was told I wouldn’t feel anything, know where I was or what was going on. They were not lying, I don’t really remember much about the actual birth. Apparently, they were telling me my son was out but I couldn’t comprehend anything.
Eventually, I heard a baby crying and asked “do I hear a baby” and it took a while for reality to set in that it was my son crying. The nurses laid him on my chest for a quick family photo and I remember touching his blonde hair and noticing he had blue eyes, but then he was quickly taken to the nursery with daddy following close behind. Needless to say, I was completely drugged and thankful my husband took photos so I could later share the birth experience.
I still ask my husband to give me the play by play from the operating room because I was as high as a kite. I tear up every time I see my son’s first pictures because those are images I wish I was able to witness or remember. All in all, I delivered a very healthy baby boy and that is all that matters.
Anyone else have a similar birth experience? Do you feel as though you missed out too?
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