Birth Experience

I am jealous of birth stories when a mom gets to see and hold her baby immediately after delivery. I remember when I was pregnant, I used to imagine what that moment would be like. I would close my eyes and try to picture my newborn son being placed on my chest as the tears of joy ran down my face. Of course, that is not how my birthing experience was at all.

My son’s birth was a blur, it happened so quickly that I still shake my head thinking about it. I won’t go into too many details, but I arrived at the hospital at 11 pm and my son was born less than 3 hours later. In a nutshell, my labor progressed quickly which shocked everyone. I literally was checked into a room when I was 6 cm, received my epidural, then at 9 1/2 cm, my blood pressure dropped drastically. Baby’s heart rate was impacted, so the decision was made for an emergency c-section.

Before I knew it, I was in the operating room and there were like a million people around me.  It was scary and not the experience I had hoped for. I could feel the doctor cutting me and I remember crying out. The doctor asked what I felt and I described it as a sharpness and poking. A strong cocktail was quickly administered into my veins and my husband was told I wouldn’t feel anything, know where I was or what was going on. They were not lying, I don’t really remember much about the actual birth. Apparently, they were telling me my son was out but I couldn’t comprehend anything.

Eventually, I heard a baby crying and asked “do I hear a baby” and it took a while for reality to set in that it was my son crying. The nurses laid him on my chest for a quick family photo and I remember touching his blonde hair and noticing he had blue eyes, but then he was quickly taken to the nursery with daddy following close behind.  Needless to say, I was completely drugged and thankful my husband took photos so I could later share the birth experience.

I still ask my husband to give me the play by play from the operating room because I was as high as a kite. I tear up every time I see my son’s first pictures because those are images I wish I was able to witness or remember. All in all, I delivered a very healthy baby boy and that is all that matters.

Anyone else have a similar birth experience? Do you feel as though you missed out too?

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4 Thoughts to “Birth Experience”

  1. Marie Byrd

    My first was just like yours. My second was great, I stayed awake for the second one and it was GREAT! I had a spinal instead of an epidural, and my dr talked to me the whole procedure! My third was supposed to be like the second however it quickly changed as the spinal was placed to low and I could feel almost everything so they drugged me alot and I am like you I barely remember anything for the first 24 hours. I didn’t even get to hold him for two days as he had to stay in the nursery. I was a huge emotional wreck with Austin. He stayed in the nursery until day three then I actually could hold him!

  2. Meggin Eaton

    Hey Jessica! I too had c-sections with both my children. My first was due to pelvic disproportion. In a nut shell, Kaylee, at almost 9 lbs, was just too big to fit down the birth canal. So, after about 16 hours of pitocin induced labor (due to the fact that I was 2 weeks overdue), I was prepped for a c-section. So, at 11:45 pm, I delivered a beautiful little girl. At that point, I was completely exhausted. I was taken to recovery where I missed her first bath and wasn’t given the option to feed her first. She was given formula when I wanted to breast feed. So after 4 hours, I finally got to hold my little girl. Looking back now, almost 10 years later, it is all water under the bridge. She is happy and healthy. My second c-section was planned and was actually quite different. After recieving a spinal, I was quite relaxed and didn’t feel anything. After my son was born, I was taken to recovery where within 20 minutes my son was brought to me for his first feeding. I even got to have him in my bed with me while they took me to my room. Totally different experience. I got to watch his first bath and didn’t miss anything. Now, as the mother of a 9 and 6 year old, I realize that the memories we have made now far exceed and take over some of the not so good memories of my child birth experience.

  3. Rebecca

    Hi there, I can relate to what you went through too. I never expected to have a c-section either. In my case my daughter never dropped into position and when I went into labor a week after my due date, I had no clue that things would go badly. When the doc did the spinal, she missed. Then she missed again. Finally they put me “under”. I was asleep when my daughter was born, and then she was whisked off to oxygen. I didn’t get to hold her until we were at a different hospital, in NICU. It was a crazy experience, and my husband is still traumatized by it, and swears we won’t have any more children as a result. Fortunately I held my ground and insisted that I be allowed to breastfeed so I was transferred to the new hospital too. That is another story! Anyway, she’s 3 now, and there are still times when I feel disconnected from her.

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